Big cause of low self-esteem
A life without social media is not understandable today. It became so important to young people. However, these social medias are causing trouble to teenagers. Many students are found out that they were stressed about their appearance. This issue causes several illness such as low self-esteem and eating disorder.
Students are expected to have outstanding performances in both academics and activities. So, more students are stressed when their grades drop in school. However, there are parents who criticize and compare their children with other children. This becomes an issue and brings low self-esteem to the students.
“Why are you criticizing yourself and comparing yourself with other people?” my friends questioned me. I did not notice that I had this behavior until people around me told me. I always thought other people are better than me at anything. For example, my friend told me that I am good at playing guitar. However, I would reply back by saying, “I am not good. I just can play this much because I have played for years. If you play same amount of time as I did, you will be better.” After I realized I have low self-esteem, I wanted to find out if having low self-esteem was normal today.
What causes Low Self-esteem?
Low self-esteem is one of behavior that appears on depressed people. According to a blog, Overcoming, low self-esteem is caused by many issues:
- systematic punishment,
- failure to meet parents/groups standard,
- belonging to a prejudiced family,
- an absence of praise and affection,
- being the odd one out in a social group, etc.
The common behavior when someone has low self-esteem is criticizing himself or herself, and make comparisons with other people.
For example, John was punished often by his math teacher and his parents for receiving low grade. On a recent test, John received grade C on his math test while his friends received A. John started to criticize himself as stupid, idiot. He started to think that he is not good at any single thing. These behaviors show that John has low self-esteem.
There is two ideas that causes low self-esteem according to website, overcoming.
- Biased Perception – “you are swift to spot anything that fits with your negative ideas about yourself, and you screen out anything that contradicts them.”
- Biased Interpretation – “you distort the meanings you attach to what you experience – even if the experience is positive.”
Interview with a Friend (He didn’t want his name to be mentioned, so I am calling him A).Me: Thanks for helping me with my project. I am presenting about low self-esteem, and personally have gone through it. You answered that you have once degraded yourself in the past. Could you tell me what was the reason you degraded yourself?
A: For a long time, my parents and my older sister has given me pressure on studies. If I did not well, they would compare me with neighbor’s son. He was an outstanding student. I remember myself hating to be compared. But, soon, I found out that I degrading myself. Not only, I degrade myself, I also lost my confidence in all works.
Me: I understand your situation. I have also gone through similar experience. Did you have any problem with interacting friends?
A: Yes. I segregated myself from some friends by making a reason. For example, I separated myself from friends who are rich, or friends who are smart. I don’t deserve to be friends with them.
After interviewing with my friend, I wanted to know if low self esteem was common in today’s society. In the past, I was also compared and was stressed about past. So, I created a survey and asked help from my friend in Korea to post it on his apartment’s notice board.
Question 1 = Yes → Question 2
Out of 25 people, 17 people answered that they have been compared, or compared themselves with their friends. In fact, 13 out of those 17 people have degraded themselves at least once.
Based on this sample, I concluded it is
Yay! A video!
Now, let’s look a video of Niko Everett.
I strongly recommend writing down 10 things that you admire yourself. Even though, you don’t have low self-esteem, you might find it hard to give yourself complements.
The challenge was collecting data. This data was too small for me to conclude if low self-esteem was common. If I had more opportunity, I would have created posters by countries. So, I am going to ask you a question. Based on your society, is low self-esteem common?
If you would like to have conversation about low self-esteem, we can have live conversation through skype or facetime.